Thanks For Ruining The Game

Everyone who goes to a sporting event usually thinks about the match up, the players, the arena/stadium, or the significance of the event.  There is, however, another element that could make or break your experience.  The fans sitting in front of you, next to you, behind you, or in your section can and often do have an impact on the day.  Unfortunately, most of the time they have a negative influence on your game experience. Below I have broken down a list of the fans that you are best off avoiding on game day:

• The really fat guy.  Comfort at a game is key. You never want a morbidly obese person cramping your space, rubbing his blubber all over you.  It’s bad enough the seats usually aren't that big to begin with. And if he happens to be in front of you, you now have an obstructed view. 
• The smelly, sweaty guy.  Sucking in someone's horrid body odor sucks.  Taking a shower, or applying deodorant before you go to the game won't kill you.  So why are you sweating as much as KG sitting there eating a hot dog?  It's never fun spending the first quarter trying to figure out "where's that stench coming from?” and “what the hell is that?
• The guy who's making out with his cell phone.  He spends ¾ of the game blabbing away about nothing, totally ignoring the game.  And if he's not talking on it, he's rabidly texting away. 
• The heckler.  Whether he's heckling the refs, the coach, or a player, he's just obnoxious.  Occasionally he might bust out a zinger that creates a chuckle, but for the most part he's terrible.  Your eardrums don't like him either.
• These polar opposites are equally awful: the genius fan who knows more than the coach (really guy?) and the moron who has no clue what's going on.  This dude asks waaay too many questions all game, thus taking air out of the game.  You wish this curious cat would go for a long walk around the arena/stadium for a while, which leads to the next douchbag fan … 
• The guy who has to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. This cause anguish for you and your whole row as you awkwardly must stand as he rubs by you, sometimes apologizing.  I don't know about you, but once I'm seated I like to remain that way for as long as possible. 
• The guy who stands in front of you for an extended period of time. Sometimes it's cool to stand depending on the game's circumstances, but make sure you follow the rest of the crowd, and know when it's appropriate. 
• (I'm sometimes guilty of the next culprit's actions).  The overly intoxicated guy whom often blacks out before the conclusion of the game.  My first taste of beer came at McCoy stadium when I was 6 years old.  The fan behind me dumped a full beer all over my head.  I'm hoping the guy I spilled some Bud Light on at Yankee stadium 2 years ago was the same guy. 
• Although sometimes entertaining, it gets old quick sitting near a group of sugar-wired kids that scream and act up during the whole game.  Getting poked by those giant foam fingers, listening to high-pitched screams, encroaching on your space, and dodging condiments just doesn't scream fun to me.  Most kids have no clue what's taking place, they're just wasting a good seat.  Well I guess I'll pin the blame on the parents here.  '

So the next time you go to a game have fun judging the people walking down the stairs or aisle, and think about which one of these game killers might be sitting near you.  Or if you are one of these guys, come on PLEASE clean up your act and try to be a normal fan.  It just makes things that much more enjoyable for all.

P.S. These "guys" I'm referring to could just as easily be girls…