Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Beginner's Guide To Despising the Canucks

The only thing standing in the way of bringing the Stanley Cup to Boston for the first time since 1972 ... and that, is Vancouver.  So, if you are like me, that translates into instant hate.  Not dislike, not bitter indifference.  Hate.  Why?  Because I am not emotionally strong enough to handle any more losses this season.  The Patriots took me to a dark place and, quite frankly, I am in no rush to revisit it.  Now, I could just tell you that this hate will be justified by the 2nd intermission tonight and just leave it at that but wouldn't it be more fun if I give you a "what to watch for" list so you could follow along in your own growing despise of this team?  I thought so.  So, without further adieu, the top four reasons to hate the Vancouver Canucks:

  • Ryan Kesler.  He's a great goal scorer (41 in the regular season, 7 in post-season play), dangerous on the power play and plays the full ice better than most ... but he's also a total douche.  Watch him in action tonight (and in pre/post game interviews) and you will see what I mean.
  • Maxim Lapierre.  He brought all the intangibles he learned in Montreal with him to Vancouver.  And by intangibles, I mean "dives".
  • The Sedin twins.  You will hear more about these two than you will about Chara's height.  Henrik and Daniel play on the same line (center and left, respectively) and receive non-stop ass kissing for their communication on the ice.  We get it, they are twins but let's not get crazy, folks - they are not telepathically connected.  They read the puck just like any line with great chemistry can.
  • The green men.  Look for them in the crowd.  Not that it will be hard ... the camera will flash to them every 2.7 seconds.

Disagree with me on this list?  Fair enough.  But there is a reason why they are one of the most least likeable teams in the league.  Talk to me after Game 3 ... see if you still feel the same.


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