Boston's Collapse Is Stunning ... To Everyone Except Red Sox Fans

I swear to you people, if I see one more headline exclaiming the Red Sox Nation is STUNNED after last night's epic collapse ... I will ... completely ... lose my shit. 

But why?!  Because this isn't September 1st.  We didn't enter last night's game with a 9-game lead in the Wild Card race.  We didn't have websites telling us that it was statistically impossible to not make the postseason (99.6% chance, isn't that what you said Baseball Perspectus??).  And we sure as hell didn't have any room for error.

What we DID have was the worst Septemeber record in Boston's franchise history (7 wins, 20 losses).  We also had bragging rights for blowing the biggest September lead in MLB history (from a 9-game lead to a tie).  But most importantly, we had one game left to stay alive.  Game #162 was the most important game of the season.

And we let it slip away in a 4-3 loss to the Baltimore Orioles.  More specifically, Carl Crawford let it slip away as he went sliding after Robert Andino's line drive to left field ... and missed.  "If I should have caught it", said Crawford in a post-game comment, "I would have caught it". 

And there inlies one of the many many many problems that plagued the Red Sox this year.  For a $142 Million contract, you make that play.  Your a 2010 Gold Glove winner for chrissake.

Pouring salt in our wounds was Tampa Bay who, after being down 7-no, came back with 2 outs in the 9th to tie the NY Yankees 7-7.  Then, less than four minutes after the Red Sox lost, Evan Longoria went yard in the 12th inning, giving the Rays both the win (8-7 final) and the AL wild-card spot.

There you have it.  One strike away and this Red Sox team did what it had been doing best as of late: lost.  Now come the calls to sports-talk radio blaming Theo Epstein for his excessive off-season acquisitions; the public disapproval of players like Crawford and the incessantly excuse-making John Lackey; and - worst of all - the commentary from douchebags like this:

So, no.  I am not stunned.  Painfully reminded of what life was like before 2004?  Absolutely.  But not stunned.  Not even in the slightest.   

Welcome To Boston, Loozah!

Take it all in, folks.  ESPN the Magazine has provided a cover the will surely cause New England's entire male fanbase to go from six to midnight instantly upon reading.  This is also guaranteed to cause an extreme amount of backlash from Jets, Canucks, Yankee, Laker, Heat (...I could go on forever) fans who just love to hate on my beloved Beantown.  But you know what?  I almost can't wait.  Want to talk shit?  I'm here all day.  It will be just like the argument Jason Segel gets into with that little kid that has definitely been in other movies but I can't think of any off-hand about LeBron James in Bad Teacher:

Four teams.  Seven titles.  Ten years.

It's the only argument I need.

"Bill Belichick: A Football Life" Part I, Did Not Disappoint

There is no greater feeling on planet Earth than having expectations that have been set to the ceiling not only met, but exceeded ... And that is exactly how I felt last night when I watched Part I of NFL Film's highly anticipated "Bill Bilicheck: A Football Life".

This two-part documentary gives viewers an all-access pass to the greatest coach of our generation as he navigates through the 2009 NFL season.  Essentially, this was football porn for all the Patriots fans out there, giving an incredible behind-the-scenes look at a man who has built his career around statements like "it was a coaching decision" and "the injury report comes out on Wednesday" - AKA, I'm not telling you shit. 

There were so many amazing points during the hour, it is hard to pick out the true highlights but here are my absolute favorites:

1. Bill's boat is named "V Rings"

2. We've all heard the rumors that BB is hilarious - and we finally got to see that side of him when he approached Wes Welker on the sidelines and asked him if he knew who Wallp Pipp was (after Edelman ran back a kick return for a touchdown).  Welker told Belichick that his mini-me could "have it" (referring to the job of returner).  Belichick quickly and dryly replied, "way to compete".

3. We got to see his true master-mind at work when preparing for the Jets game, watching him predict what NY's defense will do (using Darrelle Revis to silence Randy Moss) and anticipate which players our defense needed to prepare for (telling them to be ready for Jerricho Cotchery and Dustin Keller in the seam).  His uncanny ability to read the opposing team's strategy literally left me in awe of his genious.

4. And perhaps my favorite of all the soundbites was when Belichick told a chirping Derrick Mason to "STFU" and then asked, "can you look at the scoreboard?" (the Patriots won that game, 27-21):

Part II airs next Thursday at 9:00 PM on NFL Network ... I can't wait.

A PSA For All New England Fans, Courtesy of Tom Brady

"Yeah, start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy. It’s a 4:15 game, they’ll have a lot of time to get lubed up, come out here and cheer for the home team."

From #12's lips to God's ears, let's get belligerent!

This comment, of course, has resulted in a ton of backlash from the PC Police who claim that encouraging fans to drink too much before games is irresponisble.  I mean, come ooooooooon.  This is football, not tennis.  Get there early, have some beers in the parking lot like the red-blooded American that you are and prepare to scream your face off for every Patriots FIRST DOWN.  If you can't handle your alcohol, stay home.  And certainly don't blame Tom Brady and his comments for your inability to control your shit ... all he wants (all he been asking for) is for fans to show up, be loud and stay for the whole game.  It's really not that outrageous of a request.

God forbid you be allowed that kind of mentality in today's society (let people take responsibility for their own actions? how dare I suggest such a thing!).  So, as a result, the Vice President of Media Relations for the Patriots issued the following statement, clarifying for us that Brady actually meant fans should "stay hydrated, drink water and drink responsibly”.

Ya, okay ... I'm sure that is exactly what he meant.  I can't wait for Sunday so I can head to Foxborough, drink plenty of "water" and act "responsibly".

Tim Wakefield FINALLY Earns Win #200

Tim Wakefield earned his 199th career win on July 24th in a 5-2 victory over the Seattle Mariners.  He also became just the second Red Sock to notch 2,000 strikeouts with the franchise (the other Sock? Roger Clemens) in the fifth inning of that game.  Just one more win and Wake's name could be added to a list of just 110 pitchers who can claim a 200+ win career.  Just one more.  So Red Sox fans waited ... and waited ... and waited.  It was, in fact, the longest wait of any pitcher chasing 200 in the history of the game.  But finally, last night,  players and fans alike were able to celebrate his 200th career win.

And win they did.  The Sox crushed the Toronto Blue Jays in front of a sell-out crowd at Fenway Park, 18-6.  This win was a necessary push in their pursuit of October, moving Boston 4 games ahead of Tampa Bay in the Wild Card race.  The team trails the first-place NY Yankees by same number of games. 

Wakefield, who is in his 17th season with the Red Sox, is the longest-tenured pitcher in franchise history.  At 45-years-old, he is the second oldest player to earn 200 wins (Jack Quinn was less than a month away from his 47th birthday when he won #200 in 1930).  Wakefield is a 2x World Champion ('04 and '07), an All-Star (2009), an 11x double-digit winner, the 1995 AL Comeback Player of the Year and 2010 recipient of the Roberto Clemente Award (given to the player who "best exemplifies the game of baseball, sportsmanship, community involvement and the individual's contribution to his team").

The Stanley Cup Takes A Digger On Michael Ryder's Watch

Whoopsie Daisy?

Could this guy possibly have uttered a more immasculating phrase after watching former Bruin Michael Ryder dent the shit out of hockey's holy grail? I mean, c'mon Jeff, show me some emotion.

Meanwhile, you have to love Ryder's reaction to the table collapsing ... moves forward for a split second and then takes a step back with a posture that just screamed "wasn't me!". Everyone saw what happened there, Easy Ryder, but try and act like you care about preserving Lord Stanley's Cup.

For those of you who don't creep hockey news to quite the extent that I do, here's the low-down on Ryder. The 31-year-old right winger spent three years in Boston, tallying 63 goals in that time. He contributed 26 goals and 32 assists in the Bruins' championship season (18-23 in 79 regular season games, 8-9 in 25 post-season games).


For the 2011-2012 season, Ryder will be taking his talents to Dallas. Just a few weeks after bring the Cup back to Boston, Ryder signed a two-year, $7 million contract with the Dallas Stars.